Imma annoy akatsuki like hell
by OMG-EPIC-PERSON-NINJA
Summary: (AN: the title should be said in mario voice) Haruna has been taken into the akatsuki. She may be a genin but she is S-class. Haruna and akatsuki had come to an agreement 'if you can stand the real me for two months I'll stay' Haruna will now complete her mission: to annoy akatsuki like hell. Involves swearing.
1. Intro

_**No flames. Really. Please no flames! *puppy dog eyes* the title is meant to be said in a mario voice.**_

_****__me: i'm gonna put Akatsuki through hell._

_Deidara: how you gonna do that? You can't possibly be powerful enough to beat us_

_me: smirk. Not physically my darling. Mentally. Very horribly scaring you mentally and putting tobi's annoying people skills to shame. Muahahahahaha!_

* * *

A child with orange hair in two fairly long pigtails and deep purple eyes was staring vacantly. It was time to decide the teams. "Since there are an odd number of graduates, the will either be a team of five or someone will stay back a year" Iruka's voice rang. The girl honestly couldn't care less. She could complete everything she was told to do with the utmost ease, the only thing was that the hogake had restricted her from use of her… full abilities. "The teams are: team 1…" it was boring as hell. "The jounin have agreed to let Haruka join team 11" Iruka announced. Murmurs and whispers filled the air. There were only ten teams. "You are dismissed for break!" Everyone filed out.

~earlier at the hokage's office~

"You want one of us to take care of her? She has no accuracy, speed, or good handle on jutsu. She's not even smart!" a jounin exclaimed when the hokage explained the situation. 'Oh she is good' the old man thought. "No takers then?" Hokage sighed. 'Team 11 it is'.

~back to the present~

"So, team. Whatcha gonna do when they come for us" confused looks all came to rest on Haruka. "Like, I know you guys are jounin and all, but they're S-class criminals" more confused looks. "Haruka, you should explain" hokage wisely suggested. "Okay, my name is Haruka. I'm f***ing S-class and I've been holding back like hell. I'm on equal ground with the hokage and I've got an IQ of 180. But that's my IQ. I use a special technique which insures I can't die against my will. Well, more like birth trait than technique but whatever!" *blink blink* "your kidding right" *massive sweatdrop* "no". "WTF?"

"Sooo, a team of the three senseis and me. What's our first mission?" Haruka asked. "You got a spare cigarette Asuma?" Hokage exclaimed "Your underage Haruka! *sigh* You're first mission is S-class. You will guard the feudal lords' meeting" "hai" three voices rang. "Let's get this show on the road b*****es" rang the other.

*splat thump punch whack sizzle* sizzle? A group of assassins were being eaten away at by long strings of poison, wrapping their bodies. "My trait is both rock, water and air. I extract poisonous chemicals and minerals from the ground and mix it with moisture drawn from the air. I manipulate the air flow to increase the speed and lift the moisture giving me complete control. You chose the wrong day to mess with me b****es" Yes, it was Haruka's time of month. Everyone was keeping their distance. The feudal lords, Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, the other guards, the concealed watcher which only Haruka sensed. Wait what? A silent figure stalked the meeting, looking for his chance to strike. The opening came when her…'anger levels' started to recede. The figure could easily see from his spot, that the one fighting was a clone. The real one was standing behind everyone. *zoom* "hey 'katsuki member" startled out of his skin, deidara turned around. 'Score' "you will join akatsuki" Deidara ordered sternly. "Let me think…how about no. Unless the entire akatsuki can handle the real me for 2 months. ENTIRE" Haruka replied. "I'll leave my clone with them. Let's go. Oh yeah, if you can't handle it I'm taking that ittle bittle giant statue you are using to store bijuu :)" "I agree to the first condition but the second will have to be decided by Leader-sama" Deidara replied. "'Kay 'kay. Let's go" *swoosh* they were teleported back to the Akatsuki hideout by sasori.

* * *

_**and so, the epic mission to annoy the akatsuki has begun! I'm basing Haruka after myself because I can annoy a lot of people.**_


	2. Day 1

**Yes it is me! I only have 2 favourites and 2 reviews. Well… 1 favourite and 1 review. And 31 views so far. Sorry if this chapter sucks. I had better ideas but they just don't fit a starting chapter.**

**I should have said this before. I DO NOT own naruto in any way shape or form. just little old haruka.**

**_feel free to suggest things for later chapters. Could be a full fleshed idea or a jotted down flash of inspiration. I give an E-cake to everyone who reads._**

* * *

Day 1: the epic power of the songs

After meeting up with pein they came to the agreement that Haruka would get the statue if the akatsuki could not live with her for two months. He highly doubted a girl like her could do it…at the time. Right now she was on her mission to annoy Akatsuki like hell. Right now she was annoying Kisame.

"Bum bum bum be da da da ba da ba da ba da ba ba da da" Haruka sang into his ear. She was singing the mario theme song. "BUM BUM BUM BE DA DA DA BA DA BA DA BA DA BA BA DA DA" "SHUT THE HELL UP" Kisame screamed. "NEVER FISH STICKS! MWAHAHAHAHA! Bum bum bum be da da da ba da ba da ba da ba ba da da" this went on for a long time. Suddenly she stopped. "If you're a fish why don't you live in water?" Kisame got up and left with irritation marks everywhere. "Oh" Haruka sighed. "Boom boom time!"

So, Haruka went up to deidara in his room. "Hey deidara! I'm the lady with the drums who goes BOOM BOOM POW! BOOM BOOM POW!" "Shut the heck up, un!" "That's not very nice. BOOM BOOM POW! POW! Well the duck walked up to the lemonade stand, and said to the man running the stand: got any grapes?" "Oh dear lord she's worse than Tobi! Why must we live with her? Why lord! Un!" Deidara screeched before running out of the room. 'I'll have to have a little chat with this Tobi…' Haruka thought to herself while looking for her next victim.

"Hey itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, itachi, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato …(this continues 99 times but that takes too long)" now, Itachi was not one to be annoyed easily, but you could see the irritation. "FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THINGS HOLY UNHOLY AND INBETWEEN WHAT?" Itachi yelled. "Hi" Haruka said in a cutesy wutesy way. (Yes, this comes from itach itachi itachi, a video on youtube) Itachi let out a low menacing growl. "10 red sharingans hanging on a wall. 10 red sharingans hanging on a wall. And if one red sharingan should accidentally fall. There'll be 9 red sharingans hanging in the wall…" "Shut the hell up!" Itachi yelled. "'Kay 'kay tomato eyes! On to Sasori!"

"You can't play in broken strings. You can't fell anything, that your heart don't want to feel. I-" "Harka, shut up" sasori snarled. "Fine, fine! Oh Hidan!" "Yeah bitch?" Hidan asked poking his head through the doorway. "He is the one and only. The one and only god. God punishes the sinners and guards the-" "the only god is Jashin bitch!" " 5. Once I caught hidan alive! 10. Then I let him go again. Why did you let him go? Because he was too stupid. Just how stupid was he? He ran into a tree repeatedly!" "I am not stupid enough to walk into a tree!" "Let's test that. Walk" Hidan walked forward. *tree jutsu* "I win Hidan!" And Haruka once again walked away.

Satisfied for the moment, Haruka went to Konan's room. She was the only one that she wouldn't annoy because she liked her. When she stepped in, she found Pein at a desk with everyone she had annoyed crowded around… except Sasori. "Haruka, how are you an S-class ninja in the first place?" Pein asked gently, yet sternly at the same time. "Oh you know. Once a month I'd leave the academy and go on missions involving violence. B ranked at least. The one you guys picked me up on was my first OFFICIAL one. None of the others were recorded 'cause I asked the Hokage. I was regularly sent on info missions that had a high chance of capture. And torture… for the enemy." A smirk crawled onto the girl's face. "If I was captured, 70 per cent of the time it was on purpose. Couldn't keep me hostage for more than, what, half a day. I easily got unintended info on the way. Ooh, nearly forgot. My inability to get wounded and my special style. That enough?" Blank stares were everywhere. Slowly, and I mean slowly, her words sank in. "So you're S-class because you're annoying?" Itachi asked uncertainly. "Yep! Wait… NO! I'm S-class partially for being unbearably annoying, fair amount of my inability to be wounded physically, pretty slim amount of insanity, which proves torture ineffective, and mostly because of my poisons!" "Yep. Cause the bitch is annoying like hell" Hidan said. Haruka left the room before he even got the words out of his mouth.

After that, haruka went to sleep. A dream filled sleep of plans for tomorrow…

* * *

epic-ninja: now Deidara. Do you see what I meant?

deidara: yes! yes! Now take her away!

epic-ninja: nope

**Just incase a certain someone is reading this (you know who you are) who sent me some depressing stuff about this fanfic, I give to you the middle finger. It is not you Sporpio' .opal (I wrote your name right this time) but someone who told me it personally through PM.**


	3. Day 2

_**I am more popular than I thought I would be. I thought I would only get 5-10 views. But hey! Got 80 so far! At 100 views I will start a schedule. Not a 'I will update once a week' schedule. I will update at least twice a month once I reach my goal.**_

* * *

Day 2: i think art is…

"Hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hidan" you can guess who that was. She was poking Hidan's shoulder as she called his name. "Hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hidan, hey Hi-" " WHAT BITCH!" "Woah, back off. Aggro much? I wanted to tell you something" Hidan calmed down a little. "What do you fucking want to tell me bitch?" "I love you"

…

…

…

…

…

…

"You fucking love me?" Haruka burst out in laughter. "Oh god! *giggle giggle* I didn't think you'd beleive it! Duh I don't love you! *giggle giggle* that reaction was priceless, and I gots it all on tape! *giggle giggle*" She pulled out a camera. "adios amigos!" Haruka then showed everyone the tape.

Pein was getting worried fast. Would his serva- *cough cough* akatsuki members be able to handle her for two months? It had only been one day. Pein decided to take action. "HARUKA COME HERE!" " what?" "Stop annoying my men (an: she doesn't annoy konan) or I will edo tensei you to mars, then have Itachi put you through 72 hours of torture" "I find three problems with that. One, if you wanna edo tensei me to mars give me the statue, because that would mean you can't handle me. Two, how you gonna get Itachi up there? And three. You mad bro? Torture doesn't work on me. It works the other way around" quiver. Quiver. Quiver. "Bitch" "why thank you! Hi bye and goodnight" Haruka skipped away.

~a while later~

Haruka was lying on the couch in the living room upside down when Deidara walked behind her. Seeing as she had a dress on, Haruka immediately kicked him in the face and sent some acidic poison and burnt some of his ponytail. Sasori then stepped into the room, saw the scene, and sat on the other side of the room. "Hey haruka" sasori said, starting the oh so important conversation. "Yeah" was Haruka's lazy reply. "What do you think of art?" At this, Deidara immediately sat up. "Art is a bang un!" "Art is eternal brat" "bang un!" "Eternal" bang un!" "eternal" "SHUT UP AND LET A GIRL BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THE PERVE!" And that is exactly what she did.

When the battle ended Haruka was in a thinking position. "I think art is not eternal-" "in your face danna, un!" "SHUT THE HELL UP PERVE!" "Sorry" "art is not a bang either" this was freaky. Very freaky. Haruka was actually being mature. Mature! "I personally believe that art is both, but at the same time none. I think true art is the emotions of everyone. The everlasting love of a caring mother, or the short period of hatred to someone you just can't hate. I think that is true art" "wow" is all the two artists could say. Haruka burst into giggles. "you guys believed that? The first part is true but the rest! My God!" "What do you mean the first part is true?" the artists asked in synchronisation. "Art is like a lollipop and me. it lasts a long time while I deplete my sugar rations But when I eat it, its gone in less than half a second" Haruka exclaimed like a maniac. "Sugar time" the artists sweatdroped. 'Should have seen this coming'

"What do you mean the sugar's gone Kakuzu? Where'd it all go?" "Haruka. We are S-class criminals. We can't just waltz into a store and buy some sugar" Haruka started crying. "How about sugar canes?" She suggested suddenly. "No" "wah! Wah! Wah! I want sugar cane!" Haruka screeched. Kakuzu sighed. "Fine. The earliest we can head out is tomorrow" "yyyyaaaayyy!"

* * *

_**the reason for the very long wait was not because I am a lazy person, but because my family friend *looks towards my nervous family friend* messed with my notes. I finished most of this chapter a while ago, but, he screwed it up completely. you guys are probably going 'can't you remember' and shit. but truth be told, I could only remember the main 'art is like a lollipop' idea. Stupid hollow brain.**_


End file.
